Forgiveness – To Love Poorly
Sermon Preached by Reverend Tracey Gracey on Sunday, 23 February, 2025.
Henri Nouwen says: “Forgiveness is the name of love practiced among people who love poorly. The hard truth is that all people love poorly.”
Forgiveness is one of the hardest things we are called to do.
Holding onto hurt can feel safer. Letting go can feel like giving up on justice. We welcome forgiveness when we need it, but when we’re the ones who’ve been wronged—when we have been betrayed, humiliated and deeply hurt—it can feel like an impossible task to forgive.
But forgiveness isn’t an optional extra in our faith story—it’s an ongoing challenge in scripture and a continuous invitation by Jesus.
In the Bible, the word forgiveness is mentioned at least 127 times, showing the many ways that scripture invites us to forgive.
In the Gospels alone, Jesus speaks directly about forgiveness 21 times, addressing different circumstances—from forgiving others to receiving God’s grace.
The Old Testament speaks about forgiveness 42 times, including one of its most powerful examples—the story of Joseph and his brothers.
And today in our OT reading we’ve missed all the drama.
I’m sure you know this story well, but let’s take a moment to recap so that we can uncover the central message of forgiveness in this story.
Joseph, one of Jacob’s twelve sons, was favoured by his father, which made his brothers jealous. They plotted against him, throwing him into a pit and then selling him into slavery in Egypt.
Despite hardship, Joseph rose to power, interpreting Pharaoh’s dreams and preparing Egypt for a great famine.
When the famine struck, his brothers unknowingly came to him for food. Rather than retaliating or condemning his brothers, Joseph tested them, framing Benjamin for theft [which would lead to Benjamin’s death] Judah knew that Benjamin was the other favoured son of Jacob and he didn’t want his father to lose another favourite son so he offered himself in Benjamin’s place—showing true change from the brother who once sold Joseph. Seeing this, Joseph revealed his identity, choosing forgiveness over bitterness.
At first glance, it might seem that forgiveness is the central message of the story.
But Joseph’s journey isn’t just about forgiving—it’s about making space for transformation. He gave his brothers the opportunity to show they had changed.
Forgiveness wasn’t about dismissing the past; it was a response to genuine transformation. Joseph didn’t forget what had happened, but he refused to be bound by it. Instead of letting betrayal define him, he chose to create a future shaped by redemption and reconciliation.
“Forgiveness is the name of love practiced among people who love poorly. The hard truth is that all people love poorly.” – Henri Nouwen
In today’s Gospel reading, Jesus calls us to love our enemies, do good to those who hate us, and bless those who curse us.
We’ve probably heard these Bible verses so many times that we forget just how radical they really are.
Jesus isn’t offering us a sentimental ideal; he’s confronting our deepest instincts. In a culture built on retaliation, he invites us to break the cycle of violence and hatred. He calls us to something far greater: a love that does not repay evil with evil but responds with goodness, even in the face of injustice.
Jesus doesn’t just preach this; Jesus lives it. At his trial, Jesus was mocked, beaten, and condemned to death. He had every right to fight back, to call down judgment on his persecutors. Yet he chose forgiveness. On the cross, he didn’t call for vengeance but prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34)
This is the love Jesus calls us to—a love that refuses to be ruled by the world’s rules. It’s a love that transcends hurt, that offers grace instead of retaliation. It’s not about pretending that pain doesn’t exist, but about choosing forgiveness over bitterness, and letting love, not vengeance, transform our lives.
“Forgiveness is the name of love practiced among people who love poorly. The hard truth is that all people love poorly.” – Henri Nouwen
We all love poorly. We hurt people. People hurt us. And in that space, we have a choice—to hold onto resentment, or to create space for transformation.
Like Joseph, we can give people space to change and leave room for redemption.
Like Jesus, we can refuse to let hatred and revenge control us and we can choose to not allow pain and hurt to have the last word.
Our imperfect love isn’t a barrier to forgiveness—it’s the very place where forgiveness can begin.
Forgiveness is a conscious decision to live and love differently.
Forgiveness isn’t about perfection.
It’s about choosing love even when we know we love poorly.
Forgiveness is the love we practice—not because we love perfectly, but because we love poorly. And that’s okay for it is in this space of broken love that forgiveness and transformation begins for ourselves and each other.
May our loving poorly open the door to healing, redemption, and the courage to forgive.
Amen.